In Search of the Perfect Slice

Clown Time Is Over

pizzaface — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 19:47:56 +0000

We’re back from our vacation to prove all doubters wrong.

HOLY SHIT!

pizzaface — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 16:41:52 +0000

Technology just may have made Pizzalympics obsolete. Pray for us.

Pizza Robot

Old Chicago

pizzaface — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:24:03 +0000

Old Chicago

1111 Harney St.

Omaha, NE 68102

Average Score: 6,519/10,000

Old Chicago

Overview

Boring Sauce, Boring Crust, Boring Pizza All Around, Nice Outdoor Seating, Messed Up Order Only Slightly Redeemed by Free Boring Soup and Don Henley Hit on the Stereo.

Score 1: 6,804/10,000

Score 2: 6,234/10,000

Average: 6,519/10,000

Old Chicago overview

The Old Chicago experience starts promisingly but takes a turn for the mediocre. A $6.99 lunch special includes an 8.5″ pizza and choice of salad. Turns out, though, that the pizza is pretty bland.
Order–>pizza on table time: 19 minutes
pizza cost is $.097 per square inch

CRUST
OC offers thick and thin options for their crust, though to me they look to be about the same. Maybe the “thick” crust is soft. The thin crust is crunchy but tastes like my hand. Bland.

SAUCE
Booooooring. I’m trying to decide what the sauce tastes like. Oh, that’s it: nothing.

CHEESE
While they don’t have romano on the menu, there are several cheese options in addition to mozzarella: provolone, monterey jack, etc. I stick to mozzarella and it’s fine. Not too greasy or cheap-tasting.

TOPPINGS
The menu lists lots of varied ingredients, including yellow peppers, red peppers, andouille sausage, meatballs and broccoli. Also, fresh basil, which I order and can’t locate on my pizza. Wait, is this dry patch of green sprinkles a stand-in? Certainly not fresh though. They charge me for fresh basil but unless it’s microscopic, there’s no basil on my pizza.

SIZE/PRICE
An 8.5″ diameter mini pizza yields 56.75 square inches of pizza. The lunch special, which includes a two-topping mini pizza and choice of salad (house salad or Caesar) or soup is $6.99 (plus $.49 for each extra topping, which you may or may not get). That’s a good deal, and if we figure the salad is worth $1.49, that’d be $5.50 for 56.75 square inches of two-topping pizza, $.097 per square inch. A bargain!

OTHER STUFF
They serve salads other than anemic-looking iceberg lettuce chunks, and that’s a plus. Yes, they have Dr. Pepper! Not much to get psyched about in the shit-to-shake department. In fact, sitting outside, the parmesan and red pepper flakes are in packets. Despite being staffed by able-bodied youngsters, the hottie quotient is nil.

SERVICE
Service is okay. Our server is friendly and efficient, though refills are a little slow to come. We order at 1:23, and our salads arrive at 1:30. Pizzas are delivered at 1:42, 19 minutes after we order. When they biff part of our order, the manager guy comes out and makes an awkward apology and offers a free bowl of soup. Okay, please go back to folding napkins and looking at waitress butts now. Go ahead, no, it’s fine. Yeah, okay, we’ll take the soup. No big deal, it’s fine. The correct pizza comes at 1:57.

AMBIENCE
Baseball bat door handles are cool. Outdoor seating is nice at the end of August. We hear Don Henley over their speakers but most everything else is in good taste.

Big Fred’s

pizzaface — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 23:36:40 +0000

Big Fred’s

1101 S. 119th St.

Omaha, NE 68114

Average Score: 6,515/10,000

Big Fred's

Overview

Good Pizza, Expensive, Slow, Too Many Old People, Too Many Old People Being Too Loud, No Hotties (besides us).

Score 1: 6,950 / 10,000

Score 2: 6,080 / 10,000

Average: 6,515 / 10,000

Big Fred’s overview

While the pizza at Big Fred’s is above average, it receives a sub-amazing score due to cost and timeliness.

CRUST
Fred’s crust is a good one–thin and firm which lends itself to a nice crunchy texture. Not too bready or soggy and with a corn meal dusting.

SAUCE
Above average. Sweet, slightly herby. A consistency that’s neither too runny nor too pasty.

CHEESE
Not too greasy and an adequate though not excessive amount of cheese. They offer both mozzarella and romano. Bullshit, though, that they charge for an extra topping if you want both cheeses.

TOPPINGS
BF’s offers standard midwestern pizza toppings, nothing very fresh or far-out. Their most exotic topping appears to be chicken (a sign in the restaurant touted their new chicken topping). The hamburger/mozzarella half of my pizza was covered in a carpet of beef, which seemed to be flavored with a healthy dose of black pepper. Fred doesn’t skimp on the toppings, though perhaps to the overall detriment of the pizza. One small slice of my pepperoni/jalapeño/romano has more than 10 jalapeño slices. I like toppings but I don’t need three layers of jalapeños.

SIZE
A small is purportedly 8″ is diameter though appears slightly larger.

PRICE
Fred loses major points for the price. For a small (8″) pie, a Coke, and a salad, I drop nearly $20 ($16.50 for the meal and a $3 tip)! Sure, I have three slices left over but that’s much too much to spend on a pizza lunch. A two-topping small (before tax) runs $11.40, which amounts to 22.7¢ per square inch. And they inexplicably don’t offer free refills on soda pop.

OTHER STUFF
My oily iceberg salad costs $2.50 and includes half a shredded baby carrot and a couple curlicues of purple cabbage. They don’t have Dr. Pepper, though they do offer Coke products. Standard issue in the shit-to-shake department–parmesan and red pepper flakes.

SERVICE
It’s not a good sign when one has to ask aloud “Where is our fucking waitress?” We arrived at the end of the lunch rush and ordered at 1:33 p.m. Pizzas are delivered a long 25 minutes later at 1:58 p.m. And is our waitress wearing sweatpants? At least they get our orders correct.

DECOR
Lots of Big 12 sports paraphernalia adorns the (carpeted) walls. Bad golf paintings too and at least a half dozen flat-screen TVs. If there’s music playing, it’s tucked unobtrusively into the background so as to be imperceptible, or maybe can’t compete with the roar of elderly folks hollering into one another’s hearing aids.

Let the Games Begin!

pizzaface — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:08:00 +0000

The 2008 Pizzalympics Are Underway

2008 Pizzalympic Opening Ceremonies in Omaha

Pizzalympics Opening Ceremonies Postponed (Again)

pizzaface — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:03:39 +0000

Due to ongoing storm damage repairs to the Qwest Center/Jonas Brothers preparations, the IPC are sad to announce the postponement of the 2008 Pizzalympics Opening Ceremonies until Friday, July 25, 2008.

Pizzalympics Postponed 2 Weeks

pizzaface — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:42:19 +0000

Due to security concerns, the Pizzalympic Opening Ceremonies will be postponed until July 11, 2008.

WASHINGTON – JUNE 27: U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff (L) speaks as International Pizzalympics Committee President Pierre Bossé (R) looks on during a news conference on June 27, 2008 in Washington, DC. Chertoff announced that the Pizzalympic Opening Ceremonies would be postponed two weeks in order to address security concerns after an alleged audio recording of Osama Bin Laden threatening the event surfaced earlier this week. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Champs vs. Chumps

pizzaface — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:54:23 +0000

Pizzalympics begins June 20, no, June 27, wait, July 11. Do you have what it takes to be a champion or are you a pizza infant?

Pizzalympic Torch Relay 2008 – AP Photo